01 May Someone was clearly upset…
What do you do when you’re unhappy with a service? Why, you graffiti your complaints where everyone can see them, of course. Although graffiti doesn’t require grammatical accuracy, this particular example leaves much to be desired…Where to start?
Spelling
Right, first things first – COMMING – doesn’t exist. Nope. Whatever kind of ‘coming’ you mean. One M:
| COMMING | COMING |
Grammar
The author of this complaint starts off using the negative present simple form correctly:
These hoes don’t fuck…
Our outspoken artist then uses the -ing form with the verb come even though they could have used the same form as the previous verb. For the sake of clarity I will be using a less vulgar verb to show how the negative present simple form is used.
| Present Simple | Positive | Negative | Question |
|---|---|---|---|
| I | I work hard. | I don't work hard. | Do I work hard? |
| You | You work hard. | You don't work hard. | Do you work hard? |
| She/he/it | She works hard. | He doesn't work hard. | Does he work hard? |
| We | We work hard. | We don't work hard. | Do we work hard? |
| They | They work hard. | They don't work hard. | Do they work hard? |
As you can see, after don’t the infinitive (without to) is used. Therefore: don’t COME. Never use -ing after don’t or didn’t.
Too or either?
In a sentence with a negative statement (don’t fuck/don’t come) we use either. Too is used with positive statements. Let’s compare:
| Positive statement | Negative statement |
| A – I like trains. | A – I don’t like trains. |
| B – Me too. / So do I. | B – Me neither. / Neither do I. / I don’t like trains either. |
In conclusion
If you have a complaint to make, always check your writing! Oh, and try to avoid mentioning members of the world’s oldest profession unless your complaint is actually meant for someone working in that field.
